RUN! BUT YOU CANNOT HIDE

by Helene Skinkis 

 

I've faced dictatorship at its worst, under the rule of insanity. 

Ran to alcohol and drugs. In my rebellion with knife in hand, 

attempted to free the souls close to me. 

Still in my youth of fourteen years, met with denial when faced with addiction. 

Flew the coop to gain my freedom. Faced homelessness without regret, 

wandering aimlessly.       

In search of security as well of escape, I married the one close to me. 

Misery loves company, so we took each other hostage. 

The children were along for the ride. 

Faced hunger and fear, the fights were severe. 

Suicidal and homicidal, I found my way to psychiatrics. 

Twice maybe more. 

When a moment of clarity came to me, 

once again, I ran. It was all I knew what to do. 

Condemning self to pay the price, 

I drank and drugged myself into oblivion. 

The pain inside, I tried to hide. While fighting to survive. 

I faced the bully in barroom brawls. 

Slept in hallways, a bench in back of the bar. 

Lied, stole, cheated and conned. Saw the inside of prison walls. 

Took geographical cures, only to find more of the same. 

Faced hunger many a time. Drank myself comatose. 

I even died once. Been strapped down, four-point restraints, 

padded room with little window. 

Then the seizures came, hearing and seeing things. 

I'd been beaten and raped, 

physically, emotionally and mentally. 

HOWEVER! 

Through all my trials and tribulation, 

the greatest fear of all, was the truth! 

When the curtain came down and all was lost, I stood alone. 

Facing nothing but myself.

TO CONQUER ONESELF IS THE GREATEST FEAT OF ALL!